Was your last first date kind of a dud? There’s a chance it’s partly YOUR fault too.
A psychologist and relationship expert at Northwestern says a lot of bad dates have this one thing in common: You didn’t go into it with a true sense of CURIOSITY.
Dates tend to go better when you ask lots of questions, and when you’re actually interested in how the other person answers them.
“Vox” just did a story on why we tend to be less curious on dates than we used to be, and DATING APPS have a lot to do with it. It’s hard to go into a date feeling curious when you already know a lot about them from their PROFILE.
It can be a problem, because, “When we think we know someone already, we might not make the effort to REALLY get to know them.”
You might already know their favorite movie is “Step Brothers” and that they have a cat named Willow. And if you ask about that stuff, you’re not really trying to get to know them better. It’s more like an ice-breaker question.
So before your next date, maybe don’t stalk the person on social media, or check out their LinkedIn to see where they went to school. Maybe even try a BLIND date where you don’t know anything.
Being curious isn’t just something that applies to NEW relationships, by the way. The expert at Northwestern says being curious about your partner is essential “whether you’re on a first date or in the 27th year of a marriage.”
(Vox)
