Everyone has heard someone brag about something ridiculous: Maybe they guessed the EXACT time once, without looking at a clock. Or maybe they managed to floss for three straight days, before falling off the wagon.
People online are sharing the “weirdest flexes” they’ve heard someone say, with a straight face. Some of them are funny, some are sad, but ALL are silly.
1. “A manager prided herself on being crazy busy all the time. She proudly told me she hasn’t listened to music in 15 years because she doesn’t have time.”
2. “A coworker boasted about not using their paid time off. The days don’t roll-over or pay-out, so I thought, ‘Soooo, you’re working for free basically?'”
3. “My brother-in-law is almost 60, and brags about never eating fruits or vegetables. And he thinks it’s funny that his kids and grandkids are the same.”
4. “I had a boss who would call my handwriting ugly and chicken scratch. She claimed she won an award for her handwriting, in third grade, and that was probably 60 YEARS AGO.”
5. “A guy hitting on me at a bar in Los Angeles proudly said he was just in a ‘national PEDIGREE commercial.’ Pedigree, as in the dog food.”
6. “My cousin bragged that he had never used sunscreen in his life, while peeling like a lobster on vacation.” (It’s unclear how old he was. Things have changed a lot in just the past 20 years, most people know to take their skin health more seriously now.)
7. “A patient bragged about not drinking water. She told me that, ‘If God wanted her to drink water, he would have made it taste better.'”
8. “Someone was proud of themselves for once chugging a whole jar of pickle juice, which destroyed the lining of their stomach.”
9. “Someone bragged about living in another country for years and never eating the local cuisine.”
10. “My ex-boss said he doesn’t even know the name of his son or how old he exactly is. His son and wife live in the same house. He’s just a jerk.”
11. “Some guy said he NEVER reads, and thought that made him cool.”
12. “I know someone who jokes about never doing anything around the house. ‘My wife does it all!’ I’ve met your wife, dude. She’s miserable.”
(Buzzfeed)
