I just don’t understand people who steal food by shoving it down their pants. What you’ve got down there is NOT a delicious seasoning. A guy named Jesse Gordon went to Walmart in Aiken, South Carolina earlier this week, and started shoving bacon-wrapped scallops down his pants.
But a security guard caught him, and called the cops. Jesse took the scallops out of his pants and told them they had it all wrong: He hadn’t stolen them, he’d gotten them from some, “meth heads” staying at a motel and was trying to return them for a refund.
But the cops were pretty sure Jesse was actually running a scam where he’d steal stuff and return it for gift cards, and they found four $100 Walmart gift cards on him.
He was arrested for shoplifting. We’re assuming the pants scallops weren’t put back on the shelves.
(Here’s his mugshot.)
